How LBB Came to Be

LBB was due February 11, 2020. From the outset, I expected LBB to arrive late because that’s what first babies do, right? So I called him my little Valentine all pregnancy and figured that’s when we would meet him. Conley on the other hand, I have on record guessing February 8th as his arrival date. Dad’s intuition turned out pretty spot on.

We called him LBB all pregnancy (short for “little bitty baby”) not because his name was a secret, but because we genuinely could not decide on his name. We had narrowed down the options to Crockett or Conley, with the mindset that we would name him once we met him.

At my 20 week scan, LBB was head down and sweet boy decided that’s exactly where he would stay the remainder of my pregnancy. This was great news for the exit plan, but not so great news for my bladder or sciatic nerve pain. Because LBB was head down for so long, at my 36-week appointment, I was 1 cm dilated, 20% effaced and more importantly (I was told), at “-1 station”. The baby’s station refers to how far baby has moved down into your pelvic cavity. For reference, -5 station is baby still floating in your uterus and +3 is when baby is started to crown during delivery. So this meant baby was in position and ready to go!

The day after this appointment, we had an incident where I literally PEED the kitchen floor, which took us about 15 minutes to confirm was in fact pee and not my water breaking. To say we laughed our asses off that night is an understatement. This also made us realize it was time to pack our hospital bags.

FALSE ALARM

On Wednesday, January 29th, about two weeks before LBB’s due date, Conley and I went to bed as usual to be woken up at 11pm to contractions! I’d had Braxton hicks contractions for a few weeks and knew that these were different. It felt like an intense cramp, to the point where I was dizzy and laying in the fetal position to wait them out. At my appointment the day before, I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced, and my doctor guesstimated there was a 50% chance I would have the baby within a week, and a 90% chance we would meet this baby before his due date. Given how things had progressed and that I was experiencing actual contractions, we decided to call the on-call doctor to check in. We were advised to sit tight until contractions were five minutes apart for an hour. I texted my girlfriend Katherine who had recently had her baby and she suggested a bath to help ease the discomfort. Conley drew me a bath and I hung out in there until the water was cold. That was a longgggg night. Contractions never went to five minutes apart on any consistent basis, and ranged from 5 to 45 minutes apart, just enough to make getting any real sleep impossible. I told Conley to go back to bed and I’d wake him up if there was news to report—one of us should be rested if this was the real deal.

Thursday morning rolled around and contractions remained ongoing. I truly thought we we were about to have a baby. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible because my mama friends have all said that home is much more comfortable than the hospital for early labor, but I also didn’t want to have my baby in the bathroom…there was a balance to be struck. I tried to distract myself by cleaning (I’m a stress cleaner) and Conley logged on to work from home. I called my mom and sisters as a heads up. We were all very excited, but anxious! Contractions continued throughout the day, but still didn’t meet the 5 minutes for an hour threshold so we called my doctor and headed in around 2pm to get checked to see if labor was progressing. On our way to my doctor’s office, we said a prayer our priest had sent us and shared some good nervous laughs. In my final few days of pregnancy, we started saying “happy first” to each other—a reminder to choose happiness as the primary emotion we feel over stress or anxiety (I was getting pretty anxious towards the end!). We reminded each other “Happy First” on our way in! At the doctor’s office, they hooked me up to a monitor and sure enough the contractions were registering five minutes apart (which was very validating, I wasn’t just going crazy), but my amniotic fluid was all still in tact and I had gone from 2cm at my appointment that Tuesday to 3cm at the Thursday check in. Given my overall status, I was told 4cm would have been an admit to labor and delivery and I wasn’t quite there! My doc suggested we go on a long walk that evening and if things progressed just call back because at this rate, we’d likely meet baby within the next 48 hours, EEK!!! We went home thinking it was only a matter of time until we were turning back around, BUT the contractions came to a complete halt. Damn.

FOOL ME TWICE

That next week CREEPT by. Once you think you’re having a baby, that is ALL you can think about. At this point, we had weekly doctor visits so I knew I’d get another update soon. That following Wednesday, February 5th, I was 3.5 cm dilated and 75% effaced. My doctor suggested a membrane sweep given how progressed I was and Conley and I looked at each other and said hell yeah let’s have a baby. A membrane sweep is where your doctor “sweeps” between the thin layers of the amniotic sac to separate the membranes from the cervix. It helps your cervix progress. It’s uncomfortable (painful), but I was pretty set on meeting baby so we went for it. After the sweep the contractions came back immediately. At this point, my doctor was confident we’d be meeting LBB within 48 hours. The nurses joked that they would see us later and we thought that would be the case! Again, I wanted to wait it out at home as long as possible.

We had our final meal out at Maudies, dressed to the nines! (JK, dressed in Conley's t-shirt and running shorts, with no bra on). Turns out, this would be my last meal at a restaurant for MONTHS.

Again, we had a sleepless night of painful contractions. This time, a few additional things happened. My mucus plug, which had partially come out the week before, seemed to fully come out and I had my “bloody show”. On Thursday, I called in frustrated because after a long night of contractions, they still weren’t consistently 5 minutes apart for a full hour (they ranged from 5-10 minutes). Because of how dilated and effaced I was, my doctor suggested I go straight to L&D expecting that I would be admitted. (Picture of us headed to L&D thinking LBB was coming!)

This was the third day we thought we were having a baby so to say we were prepared is an understatement. By this point, Conley had enough time to start planning LBB’s birthday party and had packed champagne and cigars! We checked into L&D and went to triage to be evaluated. I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced (4cm!! This is the magic number right??), but during my two hours of monitoring, contractions stayed steady and never increased to officially “active labor” status. Turns out I was experiencing “a long early labor”… #happyfirst…. The doctor gently explained that if they had more open L&D rooms, she would be admitting me to have this baby, however, on this lucky evening all the beds were full so they were only able to admit women truly in active labor. I cried. Are you kidding me? I’d been having contractions for DAYS, was 4cm dilated with a baby positioned as deep in the birth canal as he could be before literally pushing him out, but they were going to send me home for another sleepless painful night when I was already exhausted? I was anxious and frustrated (with the situation and with myself for all the false alarms) and most of all TIRED.

My doctor called down and said to meet him at his office at 7am Friday morning (if I didn’t end back up at the hospital that night) because we were having this baby for real. The L&D doctor suggested a shot of morphine, which shocked the hell out of us. Morphine sounds hard core! She explained that the shot would accomplish two things—provide pain relief and relax my body to either trigger my contractions to completely stop or pick up dramatically at which point we would absolutely be admitted to L&D even if that meant having the baby in a utility closet. After being ASSURED it was safe for the baby (it was explained to us that the only way it would affect LBB would be if LBB arrived in the flesh within two hours of receiving the shot, and even then, he would be okay), we agreed to this course of action. The shot was a small dose that would last four hours and was administered with an anti-nausea medication. I was under strict instruction to fall asleep immediately when I got home so I could be asleep before the shot wore off and to take Benadryl if I woke up during the night. I followed these orders and finalllyyyy got some much needed rest.

THE BIG SHOW

At 6am the next morning (Feb 7th) we were up and at it again. We arrived at my doctor’s office before anyone else and I was hooked up to monitor contractions while I waited for my cervical exam. When my doctor checked my cervix, I was FIVE CM dilated, 85% effaced, and my water bag was leaking. This time, my doctor said he couldn’t send me home even if he wanted to (thank God), I was officially in active labor and he sent word to L&D for my admittance (they’re in the same building). I cannot describe the feeling of this moment. Conley and I looked at each other and were giddy with excitement and anticipation, the day had arrived for us to meet our LBB!

Dede, one of the nurses who saw me most of my pregnancy (and who we absolutely adore) escorted us (via wheelchair! ha!) to L&D where we were admitted and settled into a room around 8:30am. My L&D nurse, Miranda, might be one of my favorite humans of all time. Our experience at St. David’s North was truly amazing and I’m looking forward to having another baby just so I can be back with those great people.

My birth plan consisted of three simple goals: (1) get baby out safely; (2) no one dies; and (3) get an epidural—mama was ready for that epidural. Miranda explained I would get an IV line started, have a bag of fluids, run some bloodwork, receive an epidural, then have my water fully broken and start Pitocin (to speed along contractions). Before receiving an epidural, you have to pass a few checks on your bloodwork (something I didn’t realize). Our parents and siblings arrived to hang out for the day and the excitement was building. Miranda came back in the room with my bloodwork results and gently explained to me that we may need to explore “alternative pain management options” because my platelet count was about 50k below the minimum threshold to receive an epidural. I was shocked. I thought electing an epidural was as simple as electing an epidural…. nope! “Happy first” was on repeat in my head in this moment. I circled back to goals 1 & 2 of my birth plan. The extreme desire to meet my boy helped my brain quickly move on and accept whatever came next. Natural birth sounds fun right? Why not?? Miranda explained the anesthesiologist and my doctor were reviewing my bloodwork and history to determine whether they were comfortable proceeding with the epidural and she’d come back with the report and alternative options if not. About 45 minutes later, Miranda came back with some GREAT NEWS—I was cleared!! My other risk factors for the blood clotting concerns that come with low platelets were low, and the kick ass anesthesiologist on duty that day said I met his personal minimum. I wrote his name down and will be making sure he’s on duty for the next baby because I’ve since learned that his minimum is about as low as they go and after having contractions for over a week I was THRILLED to be cleared for this.

I received my epidural, which was a walk in the park. I’m not sure if it was actually a walk in the park or if I was just so grateful to be receiving one that nothing about it phased me. My epidural was perfect. I was numb to pain, but could feel some pressure and still had some feeling in my legs (more-so in my right leg than left), which made the overall feeling of the epidural comfortable.

Once the epidural set in, my doctor fully broke my water and we got the Pitocin rolling through my IV to help contractions move along. At this point it was around 11am. My doctor reminded us that for first time moms you can guesstimate labor lasting one hour per CM and you may push around two hours. By that math, we expected LBB around 5pm. Because of this, I insisted our parents go out for lunch, while I tried to nap to get a little sleep before go time. My mom did not want to leave. She never left the hospital for the delivery of my sister’s three kids and she didn’t want to risk leaving for mine. I, however, figured as a first timer there was plenty of time for waiting around and they should enjoy lunch since I couldn’t (BOO the rules about not eating during labor). I was hungry because I’m always hungry. Thankfully my hospital allowed things like popsicles and jello and juice so I worked my way through their stash of allowed goods, but I digress… We sent the parents away around noon and my sisters out to the waiting room. I told Conley to hop on his computer while I closed my eyes. I figured I’d get a final nap in before LBB made his big debut. During this time, I had a “peanut” looking bouncy ball between my legs to make laying on my side a little more comfortable and it was supposed to help with dilation (turns out that is definitely true).

Around 1:30pm, my doctor (Seeker) came back in to check my cervix for progress. Miranda, Conley and Seeker gathered for the exam and I warned everyone that I was pretty confident that I had just pooped my pants and sorry in advance. We all laughed (including Conley, never loved him more than when having this baby). Turns out, that sensation has another meaning when you’re having a baby…! Seeker joyfully announced that I had not in fact pooped my pants, but that I was feeling the baby knocking on the exit door because I was 10 cm dilated and fully effaced. IT WAS GO TIME. OMG. I believe the next words out of my mouth were “FUCK! CONLEY, CALL MY MOM”. Another part of my birth plan was to have my mom in the room when I pushed. Through the grace of God, when Conley called my mom, they had just parked at the hospital and she was on her way up.

I didn’t realize that “go time” actually meant, almost go time. Seeker left and Miranda called the head nurse and pediatrician team to let them know we were about to start pushing. The ped team got LBB’s set up ready in the room and we gave final hugs and high fives to our parents and siblings and shooed them off to the waiting room. For those who know Michael Joseph, you know that he didn’t make it two feet past my delivery door. My dad, Jennifer and Juliana all waited it out two feet from the action (and I’m told Jennifer had to keep both Juliana and my dad at bay from busting through to be there… Thank you Jenn!!)

At 2:27, the pushing began! In the movies, they show you pushing with your doctor. In reality, you push with your labor and delivery nurse until moments before the baby actually arrives. We put the “Madonna” station on Pandora and started jamming out. At this point, I’m ready to have a t-shirt made that says I <3 Miranda. With Conley on my left, my mom on my right, and Miranda front and center, we started pushing. Not the royal “we” here, the literal “we”. Miranda would count me down, I was grabbing my knees, Conley was giving me some counter pressure on my left leg and my mom on my right leg, and I PUSHED. It was exhilarating. I cannot describe the incredible feeling that is bringing a child into this world. Truly magical and so empowering. I was SO EXCITED to meet LBB at this point that the pushing came natural. I took deep breaths and bore down. Three pushes per contraction. I could feel the pressure of the contractions to signal when to push, but not any pain. Thank you, epidural! After a few pushes, I took an oxygen break for LBB’s benefit. About 15 minutes in, Miranda said it was time to stop pushing and breath through contractions until the doctor arrived because LBB was here. Literally. Miranda asked Conley and I if we wanted to feel for ourselves whether LBB had hair and we figured why not?? So we both TOUCHED LBB’s head, which was partly out of my body at this point! WILD YALL. We hung out in this position until my doctor arrived (later found out he was talking with my dad outside the room, they were both in time-out for that one!!). When Seeker came in, I gave one final push and LBB made his beautiful entrance into this world. On February 7, 2020, at 2:55pm, the love of my life was born to Whitney Houston’s “I wanna dance with somebody.” We cried and laughed and it was perfect. Seeker put LBB on my chest and we just laid there soaking him in (while Seeker delivered my placenta). Once ready, Conley cut the umbilical cord and Seeker proudly held up my placenta and told us what a wonderful job it had done. The placenta looked like a prehistoric jelly fish, totally crazy looking and crazy to think that my body grew that organ. A few seconds into holding LBB, I felt a gush of liquid on my chest and got nervous not knowing what just happened. I asked if he was bleeding and Miranda laughed kindly and said no, your baby just peed on you!! LBB’s first great act in this new world!

Conley and I spent the next 45 minutes just cuddling with him and gawking at our precious baby boy. Miranda helped LBB latch and I breastfed him for the first time. After soaking in this golden hour (that flew by!) we let our families in. This was the most joyous occasion we’ve ever experienced. Conley popped the champagne and we welcomed LBB into the world the best way we know how, with his first little party. I was surprised by how much we were in control. We were able to delay LBB being taken from us to be weighed/measured, etc. until we were ready. That allowed us to cherish those first precious moments with him and our families and celebrate his arrival together. We were instantly in love.

WHAT I KNOW NOW

The pre-labor was difficult, emotionally and physically, but my actual labor and delivery felt so peaceful. All the pre-labor was worth it because it brought me to a great starting point to welcoming LBB that Friday. I think a few things really helped me have a peaceful delivery. First, trusting my doctors. I trusted my doctor and medical team at St. David’s North and because of that, had a very simple birth plan. This allowed me the flexibility to roll with whatever was suggested that morning. Second, I did all my research ahead of time to familiarize myself with the possibilities of what may happen during delivery and determined what medical intervention I was comfortable with so as things were suggested, I would not feel surprised or overwhelmed. I was confident that I would have a safe delivery for both me and the baby, and with that as the main focus, I knew no matter what decisions needed to be made, they would work out. I am extremely grateful to have received an epidural and most importantly, to have had my husband and mom by my side when it was time to push. I know with COVID-19, there will be different protocols in different hospitals. My prayer for all the moms-to-be is that you are able to have a safe, peaceful and joyous delivery and look through the difficultly of the situation and find your “happy first” type mantra.

“There is no force equal to that of a determined woman."

—Author unknown

Moments after LBB's umbilical cord was cut!

First snuggles with mom and dad

Meeting the family, including aunt Cammy via FaceTime!

One of my favorite moments was our precious nephews meeting Baby C for the first time!

No birthday party is complete without champagne!

You can't help but love this man, Dr. Seeker!

My new best friend and greatest L&D nurse, Miranda. Moving from delivery to postpartum. Miranda hooked us up with the biggest room on the block!

On our discharge day, we committed to Crockett's name. From the beginning, Crockett was our favorite name for LBB, but we also loved the idea of a junior. After careful thought and meeting our precious boy, Crockett just felt right!

Officially discharged!

Terrified mama and amazing dad who was my rock getting us safely home.